Proudly owning and using sex toys is something that’s become linked with feminine empowerment and an increased focus on pleasure and orgasms for people with clits and vulvas—and we’re all about that! But what about sex toys for people with penises and prostates? Lots of cismen, when surveyed, will say that they’ve owned or used a sex toy for their own bodies (or with a penis-having partner). Very few say they have no interest or find the idea weird.
And yet! Sex toys for penises and prostates are a sort of unspoken reality in the world of sexual health and wellness. Wanting them still carries an aura of shame or stigma for many people—either because masturbating for cismen is still seen as gross or desperate, or out of fear that liking prostate play “makes you gay”, or because female partners feel inadequate if their partners use a toy.
Let’s try to change that, shall we? Using sex toys is normal, healthy, and fun for ALL bodies. In fact, people who use sex toys are statistically more likely to invest time and effort in STI prevention, sexual hygiene, regular sexual health checkups, and overall sexual pleasure.
So you or your partner has a penis and prostate, and you want to know where to start with all the options available? We got you! This intro guide will give you the rundown on the many fun ways to play, and what to look for in a quality toy.
Cock Rings
Most people are familiar with cock rings—they’re stretchy or adjustable bands that fit snugly around the base of the penis shaft and sometimes around the scrotum as well. They can help sustain erections, delay ejaculation, and provide the feeling of pressure that delights the nerve endings in the shaft.
Because all penises are not alike, check the measurements to make sure your ring won’t be too loose or too tight, or purchase an adjustable lasso style like our Stamina double lasso (right). Some sets also have a variety of sizes, like the Play Zone Cock Ring Set, which are great to have if you have multiple lovers with penises. A simple band may be all you want or need, but you can also find ones with vibrators like the Je Joue Mio that can give you some rumbly pleasure and can also thrill your partner with every thrust against their clit or anus. Stretchy silicone is a great, long-lasting, body-safe choice of material for a cock ring.
Vibrators
Here’s a secret: Most vibrators can be used on many parts of the body, even if they’re designed with clits and vulvas in mind! And vibration feels great on penises, scrotums, and anuses, especially at the head of the penis and the asshole where the nerves come to life with friction sensations.
But the popularity of vibrators means that the industry has exploded with a dizzying variety of sizes, shapes, styles, and intensities—and there’s a whole subset of them devoted to penis and prostate pleasure. Try a vibrating sleeve like the Hot Octopuss Pulse III, or a vibrating stroker like the Manta (left) that can be used to enhance oral sex as well. For prostates, there are butt plugs, p-spot toys, and anal beads that vibrate to give you deep, intense delight. Some of them even include thrusting motion to add yet another layer of pleasure!
Strokers
Let’s leave behind tired old jokes about crusty gym socks and pump bottles of hand lotion, shall we? Masturbating your penis, or enjoying a hand job, is something to be celebrated and encouraged as a natural part of sexual health and wellbeing. Strokers are designed to give incredible new levels of stimulation to using your hand. They’re usually made of soft, cushiony silicone that molds to your penis to caress every inch of skin, and often have patterned textures that feel amazing with each stroke.
Strokers come in a number of forms, like pads that you lay against your palm and fingers, stretchy “eggs” like the Tenga, or hard outer sleeves lined with squishier material. Toys like the Fleshlight or other simulated mouth/genital toys fall in this category—the two things to look out for are whether the toy is made of a body-safe material (hint: jelly isn’t body-safe), and whether you can thoroughly clean the stroker. Some, like Tenga eggs, are made to be limited-use and discarded. Some can be turned inside-out or otherwise completely cleaned and dried. But if the soft part can’t be cleaned well, you risk bacteria or mold growing in those hidden crevices. Yikes.
The Tenga Spinner is a sleeve made of body-safe elastomer, with drying vents for thorough cleaning.
Prostate Stimulators
If you haven’t tried prostate (aka “p-spot”) play, you might be missing out on incredible pleasure! Many, many people with prostates get intense sensation from having their p-spot stroked or pressed, leading to mind-blowing orgasms. For those with trouble having orgasms or maintaining erections, prostate play sometimes offers the one reliable route to climax—and that’s totally okay.
Prostate stimulators are different from other anal toys in that they’re shaped to make contact with the prostate simply by being inserted. They may look a little like a butt plug, or a finger. Aneros’s unique shapes reflect their background as a medical company with expert knowledge of anatomy, and are extremely popular for p-spot play. Njoy’s wands like the Fun wand (left) have a lovely weightiness and a perfect curve. You can find several models that include a vibrator, if you want to take it up yet another notch.
Butt Plugs & Anal Beads
All bodies have butts, and anal play is for all bodies! For people with prostates, butt plugs and anal beads are an alternative to prostate stimulators, especially if you find that much stimulation to be too intense. Weighted butt plugs create a sensation of fullness and pressure that feels wonderful to the pressure-sensitive nerves inside your butt, and plugs come in many thicknesses and shapes for your comfort level. There are even training sets with plugs that start small and get gradually bigger.
Anal beads offer a lot of versatility. You can use just a few, or the whole set. You can get graduated ones and see how big you want to go. You can leave them inserted, or pull them out during or just prior to orgasm to make the climax more intense. You can even get vibrating ones.
Just make sure that all your anal toys have a wide or flared base so they can’t get lost inside your body, and choose anal beads made of silicone—not cheap plastic ones with actual string in between them, which is too fragile and can’t be cleaned. You can also get butt toys made of borosilicate glass, steel, or aluminum for body-safe and sexy options. Or, combine toys, like with B-Vibe’s combination butt plug and cock ring!
Earth Quaker vibrating silicone anal beads add many levels of rumbly intensity, plus graduated-size beads, for near-limitless recipes for pleasure!
Cock Cages
Kinksters often love cock cages for chastity play, and the sensation of body-heated metal and weightiness can be really pleasurable for some. A cock cage is just what it sounds like—a device that looks like a penis-shaped cage and has a locking device, sometimes with a key. The penis and maybe also balls are fitted into it and locked, preventing masturbation or penetration and even limiting erection.
Metal cages are very common, but there are also plenty of plastic or silicone (left) options that are body-safe and make it possible for someone to wear one on a plane or in another secure area where they might have to pass through a metal detector. Look for one with a urination opening if you’re hoping to use it for extended wear. Cock cages are safe even for longer wear, but always have a way to open them quickly and safeword out of them if needed.
Hollow Dildos
Real talk: Erectile dysfunction is incredibly common, and not just among older people. Hypertension, high cholesterol, depression, anxiety, disability, some medications, and elevated stress can make it difficult if not impossible to get or maintain an erection. The first thing we need to say about that is that penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus penetrative sex is NOT “more real” sex than any other sexual activity, and it is 100% possible for a couple/moresome to have a very satisfying sex life without penis penetration ever coming into play.
That said, it’s also totally normal to really desire to give or receive penetrative sex. For some people with penises, it’s emotionally or psychologically very important to be able to penetrate their partners. Hollow dildos were made to meet this need. They’re worn like any other pubic-area strap-on, using an adjustable harness around your hips and thighs to hold in place a firm, hollow dildo that fits your penis inside (and may have a separate hole for your scrotum, for stability and comfort). Although it might not provide you with much sensation, you can pair it with a butt plug or cock ring to give you extra pleasure beyond enjoying your partner’s bliss. Some hollow dildos also have built-in vibrators.
It’s important to add that these aren’t just for people with ED! People with partners who like a longer or girthier penis than they have—even just on occasion—can satisfy their size queens’ desire with a toy that lets them thrust just like they would with their own penis.
This Vixskin hollow dildo is made from highest-quality dual density silicone for a realistic skin feel, and has a separate hole for your scrotum, offering a similar effect to a cock ring that includes the balls.
The Buck Off stroker for trans men, designed by educator and activist Buck Angel
Trans-Inclusive Toys
The unfortunate reality is that sex toys are too often marketed in a trans-exclusive and cis-centric way, and that needs to change. We also need to have a lot more conversations about the needs our trans and nonbinary siblings have for sex play that takes into account body/genital dysphoria, the effects of hormone treatments, and post-op pleasure for those who have bottom surgery.
For trans men and nonbinary folks with vulvas and clits, there are trans-specific strokers like the Kiss X designed for hormone-enlarged clitorises or neopenises. Trans women or nonbinary folks with penises who still enjoy penis stimulation but may not be able to achieve erections may find that vibrators or stroker pads feel wonderful. All trans and nonbinary folks may enjoy wand vibrators like the famed Hitachi, which aren’t shaped for one specific anatomy and which are often strong enough to be used through underwear for those whose dysphoria makes full nakedness uncomfortable. And, of course, anal play feels great for anyone who enjoys it, and it’s a truly genderfree pleasure!
Don’t Forget Your Health & Hygiene!
When you’re picking out your toys, try not to skimp on quality. A good sex toy is an investment that will last you for years if you take care of it, and it’ll be better for your body. Look for toys made from silicone, elastomer, ABS plastic, borosilicate (heat-tempered) glass, steel, or aluminum. Steer clear of jelly, PVC, cheap plastics, rubber, unsealed wood, untempered glass, or stone, because these either leach chemicals into your body or your partner’s, or they can’t be cleaned thoroughly. Leather is okay for certain things (like adjustable cock rings) that are used externally, but it’s hard to clean bodily fluids from and shouldn’t be shared between multiple partners.
Likewise, make sure the design allows you to access, clean, and dry every crevice. Soap and water can be used to clean most toys, but a good toy cleaner is thorough and can be kept bedside for easy cleaning, especially if you’re both/all using the toy in the same session.
Consider getting a protective bag for your toys like the Sugar Sak Anti-Bacterial Storage Bag or the B-Vibe UV Sterilizer Pouch that have innovative technology for cleaning your toys or keeping them free of mold, mildew, bacteria, viruses, and more.
If you’re sharing toys with one or more partners, consider using condoms or dental dams as barriers to make your toys easier to clean and reduce the risk of STI transmission. And, of course, LUBE! You can never have too much or too many kinds of lube. Silicone works great with most toys, but doesn’t play well with silicone toys. Water- or aloe-based is good for silicone, and look for organic brands to avoid harmful chemicals. Thicker, goopier lube is best for anal play, while you might like something with a silkier feel for your penis. But always be generous with it!
Now that you’ve gotten the rundown on all the variety out there, go forth and explore to see what you like best! Got recommendations for specific brands or toys, or have you thought of something we missed? Drop it in the comments!
