One of my favorite memes says something like, “Things we hated as kids that we can’t get enough of as adults: 1) Naps 2) Spankings”. It’s true—spanking, paddling, flogging, caning, and all kinds of impact play are sexytimes favorites of adults everywhere, and are a sex act of choice even for those who don’t otherwise consider themselves kinky or have an interest in BDSM.

Experimenting with impact play—unlike some other types of erotic adventures—requires nothing more than a firm hand, some basic safety and technique instructions, and a willing partner. However, there’s a wide world of impact toys out there that produce every imaginable kind and intensity of sensation. Once you decide this is something you’re into, you might be a little overwhelmed by the number of choices and wondering where to start. I’ve written this post to help you with just that—and when you’re done, check out our selection of impact toys!

How do I know what I like before I try it?

I get it. Good toys aren’t cheap, and you want to be sure you’re picking something that you’re going to love. If you’re lucky enough to have an experienced partner, they might already have a good collection that they can try out on you. If both of you are new, however, there are a couple of ways for you to get an idea what to look for.

The main thing that will make a difference for you is to figure out where you fall on the sting-to-thud spectrum. Some toys have a lot of sting, with sharp/tingly sensations, while others have a lot of thud, with heavier, deeper, more pressure-based sensations. It’s certainly possible to like both equally, but often people lean more towards one or the other (or, for example, prefer thuddy early on until they’re “warmed up” and can tolerate more sting).

If you’ve already experimented with hand spanking or using household items (hairbrushes, wooden spoons, etc), think back on what you liked about the sensation. Did you prefer a lighter or a harder impact? Did you like a wider or thinner area of impact? Did the sting or the thud do it for you? While you’re at it, what areas of your body did you enjoy it on? The fullest part of the butt and tops of thighs (especially the “sweet spot” where they meet) are probably the most common areas for impact play, but the upper back, breasts/chest, inner thighs, and even genitals are also popular—though they may require more careful, precise impact. The soles of the feet are also an erotic target for some people (a practice called “bastinado”), but that’s a more advanced form of play that requires skill and care to avoid actual harm.

Another way to figure out what you might like is to think about scenes from erotica or porn that featured impact play that turned you on. A lot of the pleasure of any kind of BDSM is psychological, so if something looks or sounds hot to you, then you’ve already got the foundation laid for enjoying it. (It’s also possible that scenes from mainstream movies, TV, novels, or even cartoons featuring spanking or whipping have ingrained themselves in your psyche!)

Categories of impact toys

Let’s talk about the broad categories of toys you’ll encounter. Every one of these has options that range from sting to thud and offer different intensities, so no matter what you like best, you can probably find something that suits you in any of these groups.

One quick note—remember that skill makes a difference. Some of these are very easy for anyone to use, and some really require some learning to use safely and pleasurably. Make sure you and your partner take the time to learn correct technique and safety for any toy you buy!

Paddles: Probably the most basic and common type of impact toy, this one’s also fairly self-explanatory. Anything with a handle and a wide, flat striking surface goes here. Paddles can be thick and solid or thin and flexible; they are made of wood, metal, rubber, leather, silicone; they can be padded, textured, covered in fur or plush. Some have holes or letters cut out, intensifying the sensation and creating lovely patterns. This category also includes popular home object “pervertables” like hairbrushes, spatulas, ping-pong paddles, and the soles of slippers. It’s important to choose something sturdy—it’s entirely possible to break a cheap or makeshift hard paddle on someone’s ass.

Straps: Again, pretty much what it sounds like—these include belts as well as any toys with a longer, narrower, flexible striking surface, usually made of leather or rubber, sometimes looped. To look for quality in these toys, look for smooth, finished edges and for one solid piece of material (for example, a real leather belt and not one with thinner layers of real or fake leather sealed onto a cardboard middle layer).

Whips: These fall into two major subgroups—single-tailed or multi-tailed. Multi-tailed whips are usually called floggers, and have a handle with a number of tails or “falls” that can be braided/round, thin, or wide/flat. Single-tails include your classic BDSM image of a long, snaking, braided whip that cracks when snapped, as well as variations that are shorter or that have a tail extending from a long, less flexible shaft. There are also hybrids that function like single-tails but have two or three tails. The falls of multi-tail whips can be made from anything from suede or leather, to rubber, to latex, to horsehair, to chain or ball chain, to rope—there are even floggers made with mylar tails that can be used to conduct sparks during violet wand play! Whips of any type require some practice to aim correctly and adjust intensity; you can do real harm if you accidentally hit outside of a safe area or can’t control your impact. Oh, and that delicious “crack” sound? Great for creating drama and sounding dangerous, but absolutely unsafe and unrealistic to attempt on someone’s body. That sound is the tip moving fast enough to create a small sonic boom! Because whips have so much variation based on materials, weight, number of tails, braided vs. not, length, etc, it’s probably best to buy your first ones in person from a store or vendor who can help you understand the difference, if you can. Just please avoid cheap prop whips sold online or in costume stores—they’re poorly made out of shoddy materials and will not hold up to actual use (and aren’t body-safe). A good whip rarely costs less than $45-50 and goes upward from there, so if you see something for $20 online, avoid it.

Crops: One of the classic symbols of kink, these toys are based on the riding crop equestrian tool, with a stiff or slightly flexible shaft ending in what’s called a tress, usually a short length of cord or a leather loop or tongue. They can be very short or very long, and many sex toy manufacturers offer ones in bright colors with a tress in creative shapes like a star, heart, or rose. Because of the smaller, focused striking area of the tress, they’re a great choice for anyone who likes impact on their chest or genitals or the insides of their thighs. They’re also versatile, with wider flat tresses offering more of a slapping sensation and the shaft potentially doubling as a cane. Look for ones where the tress is sewn tightly in place, where leather braiding along the shaft is flat and smooth, and the edges of a wider tress are finished and not rough.

Canes: Any toy with a long, somewhat narrow, rounded shaft; these can range from very thin “whippy” ones that are somewhat flexible, to heavier and thicker rigid ones. They can be made from wood, glass, metal, or acrylic, and may or may not have a handle wrapped in something like leather to offer a good grip. This category would also include the classic punishment tool of a switch taken from a thin tree branch, though I’d advise against those—a whippy BDSM cane is the same idea, without the dangers of rough edges, splinters, bugs, dirt, germs, and breaking. Caning is another form of impact play that really requires some training and practice to do safely, because they can break skin or even bones if used improperly. You may also want to buy these toys in person from a reputable source at first, so you can feel the differences and ask lots of questions.

Batons: Similar to canes in how you use them, but with bigger shafts that offer intense thud. Both canes and batons are rounded; long, flat toys fall more into the paddle category. Some are simply wood, some come padded with foam to make the most of the thuddy sensation, others are modeled after police batons. Like canes, these should be used with care and after some training and practice. Not a beginner-level toy! Look for ones that have been made by reputable kink toy manufacturers or expert craftspeople within the BDSM scene.

“Pervertables”: This category isn’t so much a type of toy as it is a mindset. The enterprising impact player will quickly notice that lots of everyday items take on a delicious double meaning when viewed with an eye towards kink. (Your trips to Target and Home Depot will never be the same, trust me.) Sometimes, it’s the fact that something is an ordinary household object that makes it hot—like the classic hairbrush used as a paddle. Especially if you’re balling on a budget, there’s no reason not to try out the potential of wooden spoons, brushes, Nerf bats, flip-flops, leather belts, ping-pong paddles, and rulers, to name a few. Just make sure that whatever you’re using is clean, doesn’t have any rough or sharp edges, splinters, or poky bits, and is sturdy enough not to break. And, of course, make sure you know how to use whatever category of toy it would fall into.

Some specific terms you might hear

There are some names and terms for impact toys and techniques that you might hear and wonder about; here’s a few of them and what they are.

  • Slapper: These toys can be more like a paddle, or more like a crop. They have two layers of wide, flat material (usually leather) fastened together only at the base, which allows them to create a very satisfying slap or crack sound during impact. If you were disappointed by my warning against whip cracks, this is a toy that can give you that intimidating noise.
  • Tawse: A form of strap, it’s a strip of leather split into two or more sections. It originated in Scotland as a schoolmaster’s implement of discipline, but has been adopted as a kink toy.
  • Quirt: Something a bit between a whip and a crop, it’s another equestrian tool that has a long slender shaft (usually braided leather) that ends in a strap or tail. Some that are made for BDSM just have a handle with a couple of short straps or tails.
  • Hand Bat: Another term for a crop, some of them have tresses in the shape of a hand.
  • Cat O’Nine Tails: Historically, this was a multi-tailed whip made with nine tails of braided and knotted rope or cord that could deliver intense pain. These types of modern BDSM whips are more commonly called floggers and can have any number of tails (and are much more commonly made with other materials like leather), but I’ve seen some arguments that a flogger has flat, unbraided tails and a cat o’nine has braided tails.
  • Scourge: Another historical term for a multi-tailed whip, this tended to have a religious connotation, as they were symbols of god-kings’ power in Egypt and were a tool for self-flagellation in ancient and medieval religious practices.
  • Cracker: The short piece at the end of a single-tail whip that creates the cracking noise.
  • Bullwhip: Generally refers to the very long, very intimidating-looking single tail whip, as opposed to the ones that are about 4’ long or shorter.
  • Dragon’s Tail: A long, usually rigid, usually leather-wrapped shaft with a long “tongue” of flat leather at one end that’s partially rolled around the end of the shaft. Similar to a quirt, but so named because the tongue at the end makes it look like the wide pointed end of a dragon’s tail.
  • Evil Stick: A form of cane, usually made from a very thin carbon fiber rod with a small rigid handle. It requires only small, focused flicks to inflict painful welts.
  • Florentine: A flogging technique where the top has a flogger in each hand and wields them simultaneously. It’s a great play party trick—it looks dazzling!
  • Signal Whip/Snake Whip: Refers to shorter, 3-4’ single tail whips, as opposed to bullwhips.
  • OTK: Stands for “over the knee” and refers to spanking or paddling sessions where the bottom lies face down across the top’s lap. For many people, the psychological aspects of OTK are a big part of the turn-on, and their interest in edge play starts and ends there.
  • Throwing: The verb used to describe striking with a whip or the practice of using a whip, as in, “I’ve been throwing singletail for 5 years now” or “He came with that final throw of the flogger”.
  • Sweet Spot: The area at the very base of the buttocks, right where they join the upper thigh. It’s a muscular, well-padded area that, when a bottom is bent over, is also close enough to the genitals to send some vibrations through all the nerve endings in that region. For many bottoms, this spot can both tolerate the most impact play and delivers the most pleasure from it.

Ready to play?

If you live in an area with an education-focused adult store like Lotus Blooms, or an active BDSM community group or play space, you might have the opportunity to check out an impact play workshop or get some guidance at an Exploratorium (an informal event for trying out different kinds of play under the eye of an experienced player). If not, there are many instructional books, websites, and videos out there that can help you get started with the skills you need.

Like I said, if you’re able to buy your toys in person so that you can examine their quality and see how they feel in your hand, that’s ideal. If not, try to order from specialty or small businesses with an education focus, like Lotus Blooms, so that you can call or email an actual educator with any questions that you have. It might feel weird at first, but staff educators don’t think there’s anything weird about it and will be happy to answer any questions you have so that you can play safely and have a great time.

One last thing—make sure you ask how to care for and clean your impact toys! Metal, sealed wood, or silicone toys will usually be a lot easier to keep clean because their surfaces aren’t permeable. Leather or suede toys need special cleaners, and anything remotely porous like that—including fur or plush or horsehair—might need to be limited in who it’s used on, because impact toys do sometimes come in contact with bodily fluids depending how and where they’re used. Keep your toys clean, well cared-for, and carefully stored, and your investment in quality toys will serve you well for many, many years!

 

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