Every year during Pride month, we work to educate our audience about ways to be better allies to the queer communities. Last year, our Instagram campaign introduced our followers to a long list of queer terminology (check our our hashtag #learnwithlotusblooms). Our blog posts have given terrific tips on how to be an awesome ally, and helped explain why queer visibility is important, even in 2019 (especially in 2019!). We’re keeping up the tradition this year, and hopefully by doing so we’re also taking a bit of labor off of our friends in the queer communities so they can enjoy Pride month and spend less of it explaining or defending their existence.
In this post, we want to emphasize the importance of using language that is actively affirming to the trans and nonbinary communities. After all, if tolerance is good, and acceptance is better, then affirming is best. There’s a lot of resistance to change in our society, but remember that as our understanding of the world evolves, language evolves. It is our duty to continue to learn and use best practices for creating affirming spaces for all people. And language is an incredibly important way to do so, because the knee-jerk speech habits and assumptions we’ve all been taught are ones that erase and invalidate those communities in deeply “othering” ways.
If you’re unfamiliar with best practices for speaking to and about trans folx, there are many ways to learn depending on your current level of understanding.
Brand new to the wide world of the trans experience? Start out by reading up on the current terminology. A wonderful trans teen named Adam put together a website- TransWhat.org – chalk full of resources. The Glossary of Terms is comprehensive; the site also includes pages like “Confused, Start Here” and a guide to allyship. In addition, check out the The National Center for Transgender Equality website for wonderful resources including “Understanding Transgender People: The Basics” and “FAQs about Transgender People” to get a complete introduction.
Once you have a framework of definitions and issues surrounding the trans experience, a great next step is listening to podcasts like Gender Reveal, Transgeneral, and Nancy for some examples of the ways that inclusive communities use language. Hearing language in practice- likely in ways that are different from how you’d previously been familiar- is a good way to normalize those changes to ingrain them in your brain and get used to hearing them. And once you get used to hearing them, it’ll be easier to practice saying them. In these podcasts, you’ll hear phrases like “transman” “assigned female at birth,” “they are the only person who,” “transitions at the age of”, and more. If you are still at the stage of learning where these concepts are unfamiliar to you, podcasts give you the chance to stop, pause and process to make sure you understand how they are being used. Plus, listening to podcasts, without the opportunity to ask questions, is a really good way to practice listening for sake of listening instead of listening for the sake of responding or inquiring.
If you’re already somewhat familiar with the trans experience, we encourage you to start speaking out on behalf of trans folx. For example, when you hear transphobic comments or jokes in person or online, say something. Let the person who made those comments or jokes know that their language is transphobic and harmful. Don’t excuse people who do it deliberately by saying “they didn’t really mean it” or “it was just a joke” or “they’re from an earlier time” because it makes you uncomfortable to confront them and to actively refuse to accept that kind of talk. Take the time to educate people who say those things without realizing how harmful their words are, and to explain why what they said was offensive.
Using the Radical Copy Editor’s Transgender Style Guide as a reference is a phenomenal way to ensure your own written phrasing is truly affirming. Maybe you host events and are looking to write a description that makes it known that you are indeed inclusive? Try saying “all women, including trans women, welcome,” as opposed to saying something like “women and trans women,” which makes it sound like those are two different groups of people and in doing so does not affirm that trans women are in fact women.
What else can you do? Wherever you are in your learning and advocating, make these a habit in your everyday life:
- Learn that genitals do not equal gender (and why), and get used to saying things like “people with vulvas” instead of “women” when you’re talking about genitals or reproductive organs.
- Default to “they” pronouns when you don’t know what pronouns a person uses (and NOT just when you think someone ‘looks trans’ #thatsnotathing).
- Make your pronouns part of your introduction of yourself, for example, “Hi I’m Alex, I use she/her pronouns”.
- Add your pronouns to your email signatures- both personal and at work.
- Practice this statement with me, “Trans jokes aren’t funny” (except these, these are funny).
With all these practices, you will be contributing to normalizing the trans experience and creating a more affirming and inclusive society for everyone.
As always, we’re here if you have questions!
