Some of the most common questions that sex educators get have to do with the g-spot. It often seems like no other part of human sexual anatomy is surrounded by as much mystery, confusion, and misinformation as this deep-hidden little pleasure zone. So if you’ve ever wondered what exactly it is, whether it’s real, how to find it, and how to know you’ve found it, we’ve got answers for you!

Why is it called the “g-spot”– and is that the only name for it?

It was named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who in the course of researching urethral stimulation in the 1940’s and 50’s wrote, “An erotic zone always could be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra.” The term “g-spot” was coined sometime in the early 1980’s, which partly explains why so many people are mystified by its existence– for a big part of the population, it didn’t have a common name until after we were born and maybe even fully grown!

If you want the nerdy name, it’s “clito-urethro-vaginal complex” (CUV)– it’s ok, say it slowly!

Is it actually a “spot”?

Not exactly– contrary to sexual myth, it’s not like a  magic “button” to find and press to turn on an orgasm.  Rather, it’s a zone, an area, a pleasure center, if you will. The g-spot is an area stimulated through the vaginal wall.  You can’t touch a g-spot directly. In fact, the g-spot is really just the name for a combination of parts that together, can feel really good when stimulated.  It’s the zone where the clitoris, the paraurethral glands, and the vagina converge into a pleasure center.

So where is it, then…?

To find it, first you have to arouse the body and brain.  Once the brain and other parts of the body (like the clit, the labia, and maybe the breasts) are aroused, use lube and insert one finger slowly into the vaginal opening.  The pad of the finger should be facing up toward the belly (as opposed to down toward your back). The majority of people will find their g-spots just past their vaginal openings, but the rest will find it another inch or so back, and some still will find their body responds to the stimulation as far back as just below the cervix.

How do I know if I’ve found it on another person?

Especially if the body is aroused, it feels something akin to a squishy-walnut-bean-thing… it’s engorged with blood, so it’s plump, and has several ridges.

What does it feel like to have it stimulated?

Well, since pushing upward on that part of the body also indirectly pushes into the urethra (where pee comes out), for many it feels like you have to pee.  This is partially where context comes into play; you have to be in the headspace and in the mood so that your brain can understand that stimulation as pleasure and not as “I gotta go!”

…OK so, squirting– is it pee?

To be clear, there’s still disagreement in the scientific community about what so-called “female ejaculate” is. There’s evidence that the liquid sometimes squirted from the urethra as a result of g-spot stimulation is not urine but a substance that is thought to come from the Skene’s glands, sometimes referred to as the “female prostate”. However, urine can also be released through g-spot stimulation. All of this varies from body to body, so there’s no one absolute answer. Regardless, it’s natural and normal, so if it happens to you and it feels good, enjoy it!

Is g-spot stimulation better than clitoral?

Nope, it’s just different. Kinda.  It is partially clitoral stimulation, since the the “roots” of the clit are located along that upper wall (hence the “clito” part of the CUV).  But, since it’s a convergence of multiple parts, the stimulation arouses more physical structures than external-only stimulation. That means that for lots of people, g-spot pleasure feels intense and more “spread out” because multiple structures are being aroused.  It has been described as a more “internal” sensation, for obvious reasons. Also, both the g-spot and the external areas of the clitoris can be stimulated at the same time.

And just in case it needs to be said– having an orgasm as a result of g-spot stimulation is not “better” or more “advanced” than having one through external stimulation! However your body happens to reach orgasm is the “right” way for you to experience pleasure, and it doesn’t mean anything about how sophisticated or skilled you are.

In conclusion…

As with all sexual exploration, it’s not “better” if you experience g-spot pleasure, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong if you don’t like it, not liking it doesn’t mean you aren’t relaxed or don’t trust your partner, aaand it doesn’t mean your partner is “doing it wrong.”  If it’s something that fascinates you, give it a few tries with different contexts and different techniques before you give up on finding it or decide for sure whether it’s something you want to add to your repertoire or toss aside. There are also lots of toys out there that are shaped specifically to help with g-spot stimulation, and your friendly local sex store educator can help you choose something to try out that works with your body’s preferences. Don’t be shy about exploring and practicing. If nothing else, you’ll end up knowing your body and your likes and dislikes that much better– and that’s never a bad thing!

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