Welcome back to our newest series, the (Not So) Secret Lives of Our Sex Educators! We’re truly fortunate in that we have a staff of educators who also do a wide variety of other sex-positive work outside the store. It gives each one unique specialties and experience that inform and enrich the help we give to our customers when they have questions or need guidance or recommendations. With this series, we wanted to share some of their unique insights and experiences and give you an inside look at each educator’s perspective on sex-positivity and how it affects their work at Lotus Blooms!
This week, we’re talking to Lauren Moore, our chief “Toy Wrangler” (aka Inventory Manager) who curates our products for body-safety and quality in addition to spending time on the sales floor and teaching many of our workshops, especially our rope bondage series of classes.
What’s the best part, for you, of working at Lotus Blooms?
I love working at Lotus Blooms because of the personal and professional challenges it has afforded me. After working at Tyson’s Corner for about 10 years, I swore to myself never again with retail, but I made an exception for Lotus Blooms and it has been worth it! In this one place, I’ve practiced marketing, product design, operations management, graphic design, business planning… all with the flourish of whips, dildos, and lube! I hope that Lotus Blooms has benefited from my skills as much as I have benefited from the confidence and skill boost this job has afforded me.
What made you want to work in sex ed?
My love of sex education came from a place of wanting to correct all the misinformation that is so widely taught. I’m a very pragmatic person, so I love being able to take the “junk” people learn and have options to replace it–real, working options! That’s part of the reason I’m grateful to work at Lotus Blooms–instead of just talking abstractly about solutions that exist out in the world, I can turn and enthusiastically say, “This! This right here!” Being inventory manager helps with that too. I have the inside scoop on everything cool that’s out there. It’s challenging and time-consuming, but so worth it when I can answer people’s questions and get them practical results!
Before Lotus Blooms, what did you think you’d be doing? Where did you think you’d be working?
I never thought I’d work retail again. Just work one Black Friday (or several, in my case) in one of the busiest malls in America and you’ll get it. Promise. Working at Lotus Blooms has been very different and I consider myself blessed to have the working environment I have. That comfort and support passes directly to the customer and you can feel it–we’re able to have working relationships with people. I do miss having my own therapy practice (which is where I thought I would be by now), but I’m still able to make a positive influence on people’s relationships all while exploring other skills I never thought I had.
What do you do outside of Lotus Blooms in the sex-positive world?
Outside of work at Lotus Blooms, I don’t have any specific project I’m working on right now, which is a first in my life. Honestly, I got so uptight and depressed the last few years that my main focus is now on zen-ing the fuck out. I actually enjoy cooking and some fiction reading! More firsts for me! My baking skills have gotten to the point where our owner is disappointed when I don’t show up to meetings with something. Every now and then I pick back up with writing my biology textbook for sex therapists. I’m also learning car mechanics; doing scrapbooking and other arts and crafts around my home; learning Buddhism, Shibari, and survival skills… I have 1,000 things going on as well as nothing going on.
How does it connect back to your work at Lotus Blooms?
Our rope, sensation, and general kink game has upped considerably since I allowed myself (and my bank account) to fall in love with rope. I become kind of an obsessive nut when I get passionate about something. This may come at my colleagues’ chagrin because once I’ve learned something, I demand they learn it too. For example, we needed to reorder some cock cages this spring. Reordering what we had previously was not going to fly for me, so I read books, reviews, and blog posts to make informed decisions about what we should bring in. Then I created a 40-slide PowerPoint with all the pertinent information and instructions on how to assemble all the cages we brought in. THEN I took some apart and hovered over coworkers while I asked (made) them reconstruct them using my instructions. Now that I explain it, it’s probably very unpleasant to work with me but if you need intro cock cages, boy are our educators knowledgeable! [Ed. note: Lauren is a lot more fun to work with than they make themselves out to be!]
What’s the best part, and/or the most surprising part, about your work inside or outside the store?
The best and most surprising part of doing this madness goes hand-in-hand–especially when researching kink products. Learning about new things via the Internet can be fascinating and painful. Continuing the previous example, I knew very little about cock cages this spring when I set forth to reorder for the store. Learning about them was very cool and helped me better understand why people would enjoy it. Sharing that information with my coworkers and our customers has been rewarding as hell. Searching for images and instructions for the purposes of explaining the functionality only to constantly stumble on erotic content was… trying. I’m always surprised by the different kinks out there and while I don’t judge people for their practices, I definitely sit with my own discomfort as some of my beloved childhood cartoons, ahem, “express intimacy” with each other. All for the greater good!
What would you want everyone to know about your world?
What do I want people to know about my world? Woof. So much. But I’ll land on two things. One, laughing at your own discomfort is ok but laughing at other people is not. Please don’t laugh at my job/my career/the thing I’ve spent a fortune and a lifetime on to help YOU. And this goes double for other people–don’t laugh at them! I think we can all universally agree that there is sadness and discord in the world. If people get just a little joy from something and it doesn’t harm people, let them have it! Examine your discomfort and keep learning. Two, I want people to know that there is so much more to sexuality than we could possibly know. The more you can be flexible and considerate of the unusual or novel, the better off you’ll be. Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person — be able to roll with the adventures it can bring! And I know I just quoted Criminal Minds but just ignore that. It’s a good quote.
We’re so grateful to Lauren for sharing their story with us and with you! Over the next several weeks, look for more posts like this one about the places our educators’ work takes us outside the doors of Lotus Blooms, and what it brings to the guidance and help we offer you inside them. Check out our other staff posts about Hancie and Alyssa.
Lauren, You are an awesome person! Thanks for sharing!