I have always been passionate about celebrating people and their bodies, and sex was just a part of that. Sex ed itself was something I kind of fell into. While studying abroad in Amsterdam, we looked really closely at how comprehensive sex education can be implemented in different aspects of people’s lives. I had the opportunity to volunteer at a health and education-focused sex shop while I was there, and everything just seemed to click into place. I learned more about the history of feminist sex shops and how they breed empowerment and pleasure, and I wanted in!

I started exploring pleasure-focused sex education as a college student because I found that the conversation around sex in college was either focused specifically on consent and sexual assault–which are incredibly important conversations and aspects of this work–but what about when sex is good, and consensual and fun? I found that even just within my personal social spheres, me working in sex ed has given people the tools and language to explore their relationship to sex and pleasure.

I work for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation and as a doula. Woodhull is a non-profit focused on affirming sexual freedom as a basic human right. I began working there as an intern and was brought on as the Assistant to the President after our annual Sexual Freedom Summit in 2017.

In my first year as an employee at Lotus Blooms, I watched my co-worker, Alyssa, become a doula and her stories actually inspired me to write my senior thesis on the economic debate surrounding doula work. Alyssa would occasionally nudge me to take a doula training as well and she finally wore me down. In January of 2018 I took my preliminary labor training and then in April completed a postpartum training.

Though Alyssa was quite persistent, that’s not the only reason I decided to become a doula! The aspect of birth work that really drew me to it is how we can hold space for people and support them, very similar to the work I do as a sex educator. To see our clients recognize the strength they have within themselves, even at one of the most vulnerable times of their life, is absolutely magical and moving. I am grateful that I get to witness this.

With my work at Woodhull, it’s like I get a backstage view of the movements that make my work as a sex educator possible. Beyond just focusing on sex positivity and sex education, Woodhull is a place where the intersections of other human rights movements meet. We work with reproductive justice advocates, LGBTQ activists, writers, bloggers, policy makers, healthcare providers, people in the disability rights movement, and so many more. At the Summit, it’s a true meeting of the minds. I think the biggest takeaway from my first Summit was all the possible ways that sex education plays a role in people’s careers. There is everything from formal sex education like facilitators in classrooms, to people working at shops like Lotus Blooms, social workers and family therapists, to EMTs responding to a call from a sex worker. I mean you really just get to see how much these conversations around sex and identity pervade our culture and how important it is to fight for our right to claim that.

As a doula, like I said, it’s all about holding space. Alyssa and I have talked a lot about this among ourselves (oh I forgot to mention we’re doula partners as well as co-workers at the store!) We think that these two jobs go hand-in-hand. I’m a true believer that we each decide how we should present and define ourselves, how we build our families and relationships, and how we empower our own lives. Affirming and upholding these choices are at the core of all the work I do. As I doula, I come to you unbiased. As a sex educator, I do the same. My clients and customers know what’s best for them and their body. I can help guide them, but they hold the key. As for holding space, sometimes that is all someone needs. Whether it’s to make a decision, vent, or sit in their feelings, I want to make sure that I am creating the kind of environment where someone feels empowered, comfortable, and supported.

The best part of Woodhull is that I get to work with a rad team of incredible advocates and meet people who have been instrumental in making sure the work I do and the life I live are possible.

The best part of being a doula? Watching life come into the world! For the hours after a baby is delivered, all is right and calm. But I love seeing the parents accept this new role, taking it head-on and realizing that they are capable of something so magnificent.

The most surprising thing, which isn’t too much of a surprise, is how different each birth is. I’ve heard it from my mentors and I’ve witnessed it. No matter how you think the process is going to go, there’s always something that will surprise you or challenge you. But that’s also what’s so exciting. This is your path, your story, and you can do it!